Can this tumultuous relationship be saved or is it time to jump ship and start swimming?
From an email;
Mine follows under ~ tough decision to make. I will post a bit and you make it short as you can sound it for listeners.
Relationship advice: been together since 2011, things were good. Then it seemed to get bad once we had kids. I’m not even really happy anymore. He’s nice but he has his moments where he will be completely rude. He has anger issues. He will slap me on the back in the morning because i turned his alarms off , say rude words call me names say I’m useless “ he will say “ god you been completely disappointing lately “ , say I will punch you square in the face you touch my phone / alarms again . ( never does though ) has anger issues will kick a baby chair over when mad and yells at kids when mad. I mean I get cranky too but he’s beyond. He works. Comes home supper. Phone. Video games tv. Bed. Same old same old. No love anymore. BUT yet I can’t imagine living on my own….. or anyone else with him??? Help? Tips? I have ANXIETY….. careful lol.
Personally, I think sometimes we fall into habits and are afraid to make any significant effort to change something we don’t like. Reminds me of this cartoon from Adult Swim;
Have you tried just sitting down with your significant other and explaining how this makes you feel? Maybe you’re both feeling like the spark is lost and his frustration/anger comes from feeling trapped in a loveless relationship that’s not actually loveless but rather just needs a freshening up. Maybe he could benefit from some anger management counselling or you could both benefit from a relationship expert. I mean that’s only if you feel like the relationship is worth saving.
Leaving a long-term relationship is never going to be “easy”. We get used to having the other person around, we build and mesh our lives together. It’s kind of like taking your iPhone headphones out of your pocket only to find out what a tangled mess it is. But you gotta ask yourself; do I deserve what’s happening now? The answer is a hard NO. Neither do the kids, they see and hear more than you think and are consistently influenced by their environment. You shouldn’t ever have to walk on eggshells around your partner in fear of saying or doing something that might anger them.
Now, with that being said, I’m just offering advice. I’m not a relationship counsellor, therapist nor do I have any degrees in psychology. This comes from things I’ve realized in my adult life. What would you do in this situation?